I’ve read about forgiveness and the art of letting go of your resentments, anger, and grudges. To let go of your emotions is one thing, but to forgive others every time such an occurrence enters your mind is another. It takes time, perseverance, and a lot of willingness to forgive someone.
We all want to learn how to forgive others. Gradually, as we allow ourselves to submit to our willingness to forgive, we find it easier to let go and not hold a grudge when someone made a mistake.
But, what if you made a mistake? Can you also learn to forgive yourself?
Forgiveness is often boxed only within our perspective of others. Ironically, our viewpoint of forgiveness is limited to other people, thinking that we are reaching a greater height in our emotions when we forgive others. We became kind and good human beings when we choose to forgive others rather than let our anger take its place in our hearts.
However, not all of us acknowledge the need to forgive ourselves. We neglect the fact that we also need the kindness and patience we show to other people. The truth is, it is easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves.
I am guilty of not finding it easy in the aspect of self-forgiveness. I have read in an article that beating ourselves for the offenses we did can bring us guilt and shame. We feel disappointed not just about what we did but also on who we are. To quote an article from psychologytoday.com,
“When we feel guilt, we feel bad about something we did or neglected to do. When we feel shame, we feel bad about who we are.”
I thought all the while that I was being a perfectionist, trying to challenge myself always to do things perfectly and most excellently. But, I realized that in times when I was not able to fulfill my goals, I criticized myself and constantly blamed my personality and flaws for my lack of proper output. The worst part of it is when it became a habit, and I gradually dragged myself down until I lost my self-esteem.
Learning the ways to self-forgiveness is a beautiful act of pulling ourselves up. While we allow others to help us, the greatest impact must come from us. Forgiving yourself is not a selfish act. It is a way of showing yourself that your best ally in life is you.
Why Forgive Yourself?
Let’s say that not forgiving yourself is toxic to your mental health. The more you bully yourself with criticism and disappointment, the more you feel confused, hopeless, and depressed. It can lead to mental health problems that will leave you weak and not functioning properly.
Forgiving yourself can lead to better emotional well-being. It allows you to manage stress and have a more positive outlook. We become more productive and able to live a more contented life. Learning how to forgive yourself will enable you to accept who you are, which helps maximize your skills and talents.
As young parents, we all went through the trouble of not forgiving ourselves. The unexpected turn in our lives created the perfect reason for us to constantly blame ourselves and feel the shame. But, we need to be more forgiving to allow ourselves to breathe and accept the current situation we are at. It may be a challenge, but it is not impossible.
Find the heart to forgive yourself. Take some time, even for a few minutes to talk to yourself and ask for forgiveness. It is a long process, and it will take a lot of tries. But, in the end, it is worth it! Remember, even the smallest steps can get you to your destination.
Be kind to yourselves, Dears!