Being around people helps us in our self-growth and improvement. It provides us a sense of belongingness and enables us to feel that we a part of something. We connect with people and create relationships that allow us to look beyond ourselves.
However, we pull ourselves apart from our community when we feel that we have turned into a person they least expected of us. We gradually shift to the secrecy of who we are, especially if we think that it is contradicting the values in our community.
It is the same response when young women find out that they are unexpectedly pregnant. Our initial reaction is: What Will People Say About It???
The first time I learned that I was pregnant, it took weeks before my boyfriend and I told someone about our situation. It took months before we told our families about our pregnancy. And it took more than a year for our friends to know that we already have a daughter.
The consequence? We have struggled a lot and faced difficulties on our own because no one was there to help us. No one saw how I have gotten through my first trimester. No one guided us to have a check-up or take care of my pregnancy. No one stopped us from attempting abortion.
We cannot blame people for not being on our aid. It was our choice not to let people in because we are afraid of what they would think of us. We chose to let the judgment of others rule over us rather than think about our welfare, most especially the safety of our unborn child. We were wrong.
It is indeed difficult to tell other people about our early and unexpected pregnancy. We fear of the shameful way they would see us in their frame of mind.
Will they think of me as dirty?
… as a shameful woman?
… as a desperate person?
Will they see me as an easy woman?
…as an irresponsible person?
…as an ungrateful child?
Will they mock me for not being careful?
Will they say that I was dumb not to avoid the situation?
Will they treat me as a bad influence to other young women?
Am I worthless now?
These words sting and these judgments can pierce the heart. But, these are the reasons why a lot of young women fail to ask for help or reach out. These prejudices are already swimming inside their heads.
It is true that you have made a mistake, and the visible evidence is your baby bump at an early age of your womanhood. But, it does not mean that you have become a lesser person than who you were before you got pregnant.
We can make it through by proving ourselves more responsible when people think we are irresponsible. We can turn things around by thinking of the welfare of our baby instead of surrendering to the mockery and judgment of other people.
Yes, it hurts. It penetrates deep, and it leaves you weak. But, it is also the best time to make things right for you and your baby. We all deserve a second chance, and even if we have to fight for it, through God’s mercy and forgiveness – and our willingness to make ourselves better – we can win over it.
You are never worthless, Dears!