It started with the words, ‘The doctor was right. You are irresponsible.’ I do not dare share who blurted out those words when I became pregnant at the age of 19. But, such a statement made a hole in my heart, a sting I bear every day after more than 16 years of hearing them.
People will reject you, find fault with your current condition as a young mom, and make ruthless judgments that will shatter your well-being and bring your heart to pieces. It hurts, and no words can express the torment of carrying such a burden.
However, life continues. Despite the criticism and constant badgering of cruel phrases in our minds, we need to move forward—onwards to a new life of being a parent, progressing to a different life than before, and advancing to hope of restoration and acceptance in the future.
Effects of Being Rejected As a Young Parent or Teenage Mom
Hearing the cruel statements of being a parent at a young and unexpected age affected me a lot. Not only do they hurt my feelings and cause me to question myself, but there are also other effects.
- Anger – to others and oneself
- Overthinking
- Intense insecurity
- Social Anxiety
- Jealousy
- Loneliness
- Continuous Guilt
- Shame
- Depressive state
- Intrapersonal rejection
Strategies to Try in Handling and Coping with Rejection and Judgement as a Teen Parent
Take heart! Experiencing rejection and judgment happens to all young and teen parents. The truth is, such nonacceptance falls out on people whose actions do not conform with the world’s expectations.
While we choose to endure these sentiments and consequences, we can try to stir these negative encounters into positive learnings and cushion the pain for us to march on to our lives.
Foster a Sense of Acceptance in Yourself
Pain will strike you upon hearing these words. But be honest with how you feel. Accept that you are hurting and try to understand within yourself the reasons behind these traumatic emotions. Process these feelings to help you deal with them more positively.
Forgive Yourself and Forgive Others
Unforgiveness will only aggravate the hurts you feel inside due to guilt. It is hard to admit the mistakes and difficulty brought by the unexpected situation. However, learning to forgive yourself is a huge step to a breakthrough, and knowing how to forgive and understand others will push you towards it.
Take Care of Yourself and Don’t Let Them Define You
If you feel angry or have a surge of negative feelings, look for a safe place to let go of these burdens in your heart. Take a deep breath and remind yourself not to take in all the harsh words around you.
Remember, such painful words do not define who you are. These statements are common reactions of people and not singled out to accuse you alone. If you believe these judgments, it will only obstruct the change you need in your life and hinder your growth and transformation.
Take It Positively and Make It a Learning Point
It is easier said than done, but as you pull yourself through, you will see your situation as a learning point in life. There are life lessons we can acquire and use to become more mature and wiser in the future.
Talk to Someone
You are never alone in this circumstance. Reach out to the people who love and care for you. Talk to your family about your situation. Open yourself to your friends. Look for community programs, churches, or support groups where you can find the encouragement and empathy to get you through everything.
